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About Osijek

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, all that cliché stuff. I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I grab my coffee from that little joint on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Best coffee in town, no cap. But the barista? She’s got this crazy energy. She spills half my drink. I’m like, “Great start, right?”

Mother feared her baby's head would be ripped off during forceps delivery by Bosnian doctor